the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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