would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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