So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
