I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I think your dad took our porno
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
His nipple licking is glorious
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