you traded sex for a burrito?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
