This dress was meant to end up on your floor
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
