I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
