No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
