I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
