If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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