You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just took my morning after pill in the library
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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