Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize
