Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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