I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
