I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
