Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm both gender and math confused
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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