and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
