Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize