Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
