i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
