You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I stole a fireplace last night.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I AM VODKA MAN
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
