I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
