I have demons in me.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
