I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize