you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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