dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
