Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
