So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
