so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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