Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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