Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
