You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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