Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
