How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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