census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
