I need help removing her.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize