if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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