i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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