im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
