so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
