No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
