I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
