Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
