tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
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