Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
