Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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