haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
