So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
