you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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