Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
