If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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