Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
a search helicopter?!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
