yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
