i don't like sucking hair
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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