What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
