I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
