It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
They are going to name an STD after you.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
