Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You dont lie about slip and slides
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
