The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
