I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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