I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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