why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
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