I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just took my morning after pill in the library
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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