Midget sex pt 2 tonight
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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