You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
