why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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