was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
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