Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
